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01, Intro [004]

May 15th, 2015, 12:00 am

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Author's Comments:

Reply Incuro, August 17th, 2012, 8:38 pm

First panel, needs to be more about Trev's panic then about what is happening... Problem is I'm not exactly sure how to show that... I'll think on it, but...

2nd panel, and this will probably be the most important panel on the page. I'm assuming its a blood drop, liquids look the same without color, which is what I'm bringing up, I think that panel would benefit the most by adding small light strokes of red from a colored pencil or something, just lightly enough to make it out as red, but not enough to draw it from the rest of the page.

3rd, the blood can stay black in this panel and should probably be on his had a bit more, but in splotches. The panel from there can go however you feel, you can focus on the blood or the effect of it.

The 4th panel is a good break from the injury, maybe add blackish tints around the corners, like he is passing out and sees that. As for the rest, that should be a bit, but not too much detail on the thugs. As for what the 4th thug is carrying... Ive got no clue... A camera?

5th panel should focus on Trev's overall condition while the 6th is his fading light, make is eyes intense, but not as much as you did with the previous eye shot on the other page, to show fading life.

Again, great page, considering in the first page you didn't see Trev from that angle you've kept continuity with the Manager's parking space, and done a great job of focusing on the injury while not making the entire page about it. Loving this so far!

I just read what you did next and that makes me want to change the 6th panel a bit, but it might force some of the other pages to have to be edited... Ill send you a message specifically on it when I'm done.

Reply Advertisement, November 23rd, 2017, 5:13 am

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